I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
