Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize