So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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