She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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