I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
