I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
