If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
