On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
