no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
