What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize