Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
