Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
