omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
