P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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