Your tits are I can't wait for
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
