yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize