He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
