this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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