if you like me you must not know who I am
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
