Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
