I'm going to jail i love you
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
