Dual....:-)
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize