i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
