I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
