I wanna bring you to show and tell
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize