hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
