in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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