Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
