My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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