Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
