The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
