Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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