she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
