I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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