The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
