Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
