this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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