It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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