We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
