You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So here I am, sexting at work.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
