Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
