Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
