I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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