I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You made out with two different species that night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
