I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
