actually, I'm a sock model
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Randomize
