I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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