I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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