My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
