i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize