There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
