I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I showed him my bush... on skype.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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