oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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