there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
