remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize