He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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