It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
