well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
