yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
