I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can text with my tongue
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
