The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
