i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
