once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
