1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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