gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
