I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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