and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
