So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
