I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize